Dear Cannabby – the boyfriend

My boyfriend likes to smoke flower before we have sex.  It used to be once in a while, but now it’s every time.  It makes me feel inadequate.  I’ve told him how I feel and he tries to explain that it heightens his senses, but I don’t get it – when I smoke I just get paranoid.  Am I being unreasonable?  

Signed,

Not Into It

Dear Not Into It,

It’s understandable that you don’t get the positive effects for him while you’re hiding in the closet waiting for the po-po to arrive for no reason.  Who among us stoners hasn’t been convinced at one point or another that everyone in the room can hear us breathing and we’re being judged for it?  Sometimes our minds will allow the weed to take us there (or at least it used to in my younger years – now I couldn’t care less if everyone is judging me for breathing.  I’m not stopping for their approval).

But the fact is that, for him, it does make sex more pleasurable.  Think of it more like a partner and less like a foe.  His added arousal is not in spite of you; it’s because of you – and what you are doing with and to him while he’s in a heightened headspace.  You and Mary Jane have the power to bring this boy there and back – and there and back again.  Use the power for good.  Trust me when I tell you that sensitivity levels go off the charts: every kiss, every lick, every touch feels like nirvana (the place, not the band).

I also suggest you try a different strain of flower – sativa hits me giggly.  Also, maybe just take a baby hit (I mean a small toke – don’t go punching no baby).   Maybe one little hit of a strain that agrees with you can put you on the same plane as Lover Boy.  Let me know if it works (in sordid detail, please).